Indian Traffic Rules

1. Always look to your left while crossing the road. That way, you'll never know what hit you.

2. If you're driving a particularily large vehicle, make sure that you drive slowly, in the middle of the road.

3. If you're driving/riding a particularily small vehicle, make sure to zig zag your way down the road. This will have the same effect as point #2.

4. Always stop at the stop line at traffic lights. That way, when your vehicle stalls, you get to hold up the rest of the traffic.

5. Always move towards the vehicle that is overtaking you and then look at him like he's the idiot.

6. Make sure your vehicle breaks down on a lonely dark road. That way, you can scare the living day lights out of some poor sod by suddenly appearing in front of his headlights.

7. Always speed up when the traffic light turns orange.

8. Follow lane discipline. If you're going straight, always drive on the extreme left.

9. Put your left indicator on while turning right. That'll sure confuse those mafia types who are following you.

10. If you're a guy with low self esteem, make sure you overtake every single girl on the road. Show her who's boss.

Assholes.

Rainy Days and Mondays

This is the only time i can actually see better without my glasses.

I'm riding down Church Road in the pouring rain. Although i have my helmet on, my glasses are dripping rain water. They really should invent windscreen wipers for spectacles. There's zero visibility. Traffic has slowed to a crawl. I can just about make out the tail lights of the car in front of me. Quite a few vehicles have their parking lights on. Wouldn't want any fender-benders on a night like this, would we?

All of a sudden, my fingers start stinging. And then the tail lights ahead of me disappear and i'm left in pitch darkness. My own headlights are useless in the downpour. And then...someone starts stoning my helmet. After a while, i realise that the thunking on my helmet and fingers are not stones, but hail! Its HAILING in Bangalore! Man, but that hurts.

I stop at the first shop light that I see and hurry inside...only to find that its a barber shop, full of gawking men. I pull my coat tighter over my soaking white t-shirt and huddle to one corner. The barber, gentleman that he is, offers me a chair and herds his customers to the other side of the shop.

I wait out the hail, all the while trying not to shiver too loudly. Once the hail lets up, i get back into the pouring rain and start my bike. Following another tail light, I ride through a river that once was the road and around fallen trees with their jagged barks jutting into the road, ready to poke anyone's eyes out.

To make matters worse, the electricity goes out just as i reach my area. Pitch darkness seems to be the order of the day, but with the rain letting up, my headlight is like a beacon on a stormy sea.

I reach home. Safe.