One of my pet peeves (and yes, I have many) are my neighbours. Okay, maybe I shouldn't use the plural for that. The neighbours on one side of my house are dead quiet and are no trouble at all. Well, they wouldn't be, would they? They all reside peacefully in their respective graves. It’s the neighbours on the other side of my house that irk me.
I know I have blogged about them before, but seriously, you just have to meet them to understand.
Meet half-deaf papa neighbour. He's in his mid thirties and can't hear in one ear; hence, screams to hear himself. Meet gun-throat mama neighbour. She's also in her mid thirties and loves to laugh and talk at the same time, hence having to repeat herself several times over in her efforts to be understood. And all this is done at loud-speaker volume for papa neighbour dearest to hear. Now we come to the baby neighbours whom we shall name Banshee and Opera-singer. Both of them, having learnt at a young age that papa dearest cannot hear them unless they talk loudly; have acquired the skillful art of talking at ear-splitting volume. This comes naturally to them now. Banshee is about ten years old and loves to wake up her younger brother (Opera-singer) at 5.30 am, just to hear him sing. His singing, to us, mere mortals, sounds like wailing and bawling but, to the higher beings, must be pure music.
The wailing, er…I meant singing, once started, does not stop until 6 am. This is when gun-throat mama neighbour decides that Banshee should be reprimanded and commences to do so with the utmost volume. Banshee, not one to be outdone, begins a screeching competition with her mother. This in turn, wakes up half-deaf papa neighbour who begins to yell at his tribe for waking him up in the first place.
All this happens just outside my window.
They seem to have invented a game called Screaming Mindlessly. Plot of the game. Pretend that you’re being stabbed over and over again. Rules of the game. Scream as loud as you can.
My mother once complained to them that they were making too much noise. Gun-throat mama neighbour retorted saying, “This is my house and my children and my life. Butt out.”
Okay. So. This is my house and my 2000W audio music system. Deal with it. 6 in the morning did you say? Okay. Metallica should be just fine then. If confrontation doesn’t work, passive aggressive behaviour will. Besides, it’s more fun. Every time they make too much noise, up goes my music volume. See? Fun.
Besides, I have the a feeling that by the time its time for their tenth standard public exams, I will be married and have children of my own. And I will make sure that I play Screaming Mindlessly with my children every damn day during that time.
Revenge is mine!
Long Live Passive Agressiveness.
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